i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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