I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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