You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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