Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
