Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
