my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
