Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
