Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
