i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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