wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
