Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
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