Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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