Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
my liver is dry heaving
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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