Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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