Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
ok first of all what the fuck
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
