OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
