Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
