It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
