I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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