There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
