I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Randomize
