two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
