I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
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