I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
