Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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