That's when you crack a 10am beer
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
