to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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