Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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