What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
