Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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