hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
