hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
