I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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