I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
