I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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