pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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