Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
