I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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