she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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