I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
