When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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