All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
