I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
