We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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