Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He? As in you personified your dick?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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