how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
