Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
