my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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