fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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