it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
