went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
