I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
